The Art of Casual Dating

2016 MTV Video Music Awards - Show
Drake and Rihanna have been sizzling on and off since 2010, but their VMA stint showed their subtly sexy chemistry. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

BY SIMON U. BRYANT

Having recently graduated with my undergraduate degree, I am still somewhat green to the art of casually dating. Going from drunken hook ups and drama-ridden situationships, one can understand why I struggle with attempting to meet the right woman. Admittedly, my limited experience leads me to question whether I am truly ready to meet the woman of my dreams. But as luck would have it, I think I may have met … my cool girl. Everything seems to be running smoothly, and it just feels so right. Yet, in the bottom of my heart, and perhaps the back of my head, I know there is something stopping me from committing to her exclusively. Now before anyone labels me a ruthless womanizer, take a moment to reflect on your little black book, not to mention those of subconscious.

It would appear as though we, (and by we, I do mean my fellow millennials- both male and female) have manicured a culture of casual flings, dates, and what have you. I would even go as far to say, that casually dating has been reduced to the curation of potential partners, a short list of sorts. In my experience, having too many options has always led to a place of contempt and frustration; thus, it soon becomes tiring. Eventually, the hassle of keeping up appearances, remembering the date and time of various Netflix and chill sessions, and last but not least, the nagging that ensues when one feels the neglected emotionally or physically.

As I mature and my dating habits become old-hat, I’ve realized I can only commit once I am truly ready to put aside selfish wants and needs. In the past, I have tried to commit prematurely with the woman I felt was compatible-enough for the time being. More often than not, those relationships dissolve as quickly as they manifested.

In truth, I feel as though the one, is simply the woman who captivates mind, body and soul. She is witty, elegant, honest, and down-to-earth. The one that challenges me mentally, but makes it easy for us to be ourselves. Now once this decision is made, the conversation of exclusivity must be held in order to solidify any title. Prior to a definitive declaration of exclusivity, there should be no assumptions about the matter. Thus, it is completely acceptable to practice non-exclusive dating rituals, as I would call it, as long as everyone is honest. Ultimately, what it comes down to, honesty, trust, and most importantly, respect.

In short, there seems to be a lack of transparency when it comes to casually dating. But let’s keep it eight more than 92 … everybody knows how this dating thing works. A lot of feelings would be spared if everyone were just up front and honest about it.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Simon is a thinker by nature who enjoys the wonderful soulful sounds of R&B. A graduate of Syracuse University, who enjoys nothing more than proving people wrong.

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